I have had enough of Republicans. They are like that bully on the playground in elementary school...they call you names, punch you in the stomach, and have closeted homosexual fantasies that would make Richard Simmons blush. Everyone around the country is screaming and yelling about the current administration, seemingly forgetting the fact that not even a year ago some analysts weren't sure we'd make it this far. People seem to forget the abysmal crevasse we hovered over for several years and came way too close to falling into, and are more concerned that we have a President that actually cares about the American people, and cares enough to make those who earn a ridiculous sum pay a little more to help the rest of us out. I am not a fan of high taxes, but I believe if someone earns over $2 million per year then they are set. If someone cannot survive on 2 million dollars, then game over, that person needs to be put down because only a rabid individual could not live off an income for one year that is more than some Americans will make in their entire lifetime.
The state of the union address is becoming more and more of a mockery of politics and closer to a pissing match each and every year. I personally believe that such that the Iraq and such that politicians should be mandated to carry and ruler and wear no pants---this way they can just measure one another and get on with running this country. I have seen more mature displays in a middle school popularity contest than in the congressional building. However, I must confess my favorite thing about the entire occasion was the "special" response from the Republican party. McConnell gave the official speech, but it was the pundit circuit that fascinated me the most. In particular was an interview on MSNBC with Eric Cantor, a representative from VA. The interviewer asked Cantor if he agreed with Obama's call for bi-partisanship and a movement toward working together rather than working against one another (and to end a Washington where elections never end---which sounds to me like Obama is arguing for an effective government and we all know that is not acceptable). I am going to paraphrase Cantor's response, for fear that if I write the words verbatim as they were spoken the stupidity of the words would set into motion a series of events that would have to inevitably result in a tearing of the space-time continuum, and without my flux-capacitor operational, it would assuredly spell the end of mankind.
Cantor responded to the question of bi-partisanship by saying that in theory he agreed with the call to work together, but that it was not possible in the present, because the Republican party was so ideologically opposed to the idea and ideals espoused by the Democrats that working together would compromise the very fabric of the nation. Continuing on Cantor offered the most insightful comment about the Republican party I've heard in a while; according to Cantor, the Republican party was a defender of the essentials upon which our country was founded, and in particular is the ideal of equal opportunity, and that the Republican party was unwilling to support any policy or law that infringed upon this most basic ideal by monitoring or regulating the free market system.
I'm sorry....I don't think I heard you right. The Republican party is a defender of equal opportunity, and this can only be accomplished through the free market? It would appear that the Republican party slept through Econ 101 in college (of course that is assuming they went to college). The free market is the antithesis of equal opportunity; to have one is to be in direct conflict with the other. The free market, as it was originally conceived led to the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, and this cycle persisted over time and across generations. In this regards, the equal opportunity of the free market is possible only at a theoretical "starting point", possibly when man emerged from the Hobbsian state of nature and took up civilization, but once the first commodity markets emerged, equal opportunity was a thing of the past. By definition equal opportunity requires that someone intervene with the free market. So, without realizing Cantor provided me with some solace regarding the state of our current governmental divide: anyone who believes that equal opportunity is a byproduct of the free market is special, and as such, a Republican.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Delay-ed Exit
What do stress fractures and campaign finance reform laws have in common? They both saved us, albeit briefly, from Tom Delay. Indeed, to all those dancing aficionados out there, the "graceful" run of the former Texas congressman has come to a premature end on the television show Dancing with the Stars due to stress fractures in both his left feet. I must admit, I am surprised---I thought Delay only left under threats of federal indictment. I am pretty sure anyone who saw the video of Delay dancing with Cheryl Burke (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUqL3_uCD4Q) had thoughts of Candyland or Robert Preston swirling through their heads each time that peppermint stick swirled around. If there is one thing that deserves compliment it was his shirt; most men walk around with a monkey on their back, but Delay at 62 years old was carrying around an elephant (although these days, those two things may be synonymous).
In the midst of all the dancing and injurying, I could not help but wonder, "What is Tom Delay doing now?" (other than getting injured). Much to my surprise, this former strong-man in American politics is now Blogging and book writing about himself (surprise), and is a sometimes contributor to various news stations (I'm just guessing here, Fox News?). Although I cannot wait until the day I am able to waste away aimlessly typing my inner-most thoughts onto a venue that is available to everyone but viewed by no one (have I arrived there already?), Delay's lack of a job made me wonder how he planned to pay for the medical bills associated with his foot injuries. With the average cost for a one-night stay at the hospital running around $3,000-5,000, and upwards of $50,000 per week, I could imagine that a few trips to the doctor for Delay and maybe a procedure down the road to repair an arch could very easily result in a six-figure expense. For a man who is not working, such as Delay, health insurance would certainly help handle the expenses associated with the bill. If only the health care system had been reformed to provide coverage to all Americans regardless of age, sex, race, or intelligence level.
Enter stage-left Ghost of Congresses Past.
Some of you may recall a time in this country, not so long ago when an unknown lady from down South had the crazy idea of putting together a plan to improve health care in this nation. What was her name, oh yeah, Hillary Clinton. I wonder what she's up to now? That's right, the times were the 1990s, and they were good times. We were in the midst of the dot-com bubble, although then it was simply known as the initial phase of Skylab's bid to takeover the world, and an air of reform marked the day. Efforts for health care reform had been present throughout the Clinton administration, however 1994 marked the year in which it was most likely to succeed. At this point you might turn to the Ghost of Congresses Past and inquire into the relevancy of this history lesson. Waving a finger in front of your face as if to say, "Oh silly boy, how quickly we forget", the ghost turns his finger away and points it in the direction of a modest gentleman. At first the face seems familiar, muffin-top hair, rosy-red cheeks, and an infamously fake smile---could it be, yes that's right it's our rumba expert Tom Delay closing in on the peak of his career in Washington.
I would be stretching the truth to say that Tom Delay killed health care reform in 1994, but he was definitely not in support of it. According to the American Public Health Association, which rates members of Congress according to their stance regarding health reform and a public-option for coverage, Tom Delay has a 0 (zero) (http://www.ontheissues.org/TX/Tom_DeLay_Health_Care.htm). I am not trying to speak for Delay, but I think it is safe to say he is not a fan of death panels, although he is from Texas, so maybe he is, of course that may be an entirely different type of death panel altogether.
How different would the world be today if health care reform was implemented in the 1990s? I'm not sure, but my guess is a lot fewer people would be on Prozac, which means less people would see the world through a facade of chemically induced apathy, and George Bush would not have been elected to TWO TERMS IN OFFICE! Regardless of whatever drug-altered state we may or may not have been in, I think it is safe to say that some things would be different, and we can only hope that one of them would be that reality TV would never have become popular, or at least it would have been allowed to die after a couple of seasons of Real World. But no health care reform, and now we are stuck with more reality TV than we know what to do with. We have singing, surviving, living, and cooking, dating, mating, fighting, and eating, playing instruments, designing clothes, smizing, and dieting, racing, firing, flipping real estate, and building city-skyline cakes. But we cannot forget there is one more thing responsible for reality TV, and without further Delay....it is dancing.
In the midst of all the dancing and injurying, I could not help but wonder, "What is Tom Delay doing now?" (other than getting injured). Much to my surprise, this former strong-man in American politics is now Blogging and book writing about himself (surprise), and is a sometimes contributor to various news stations (I'm just guessing here, Fox News?). Although I cannot wait until the day I am able to waste away aimlessly typing my inner-most thoughts onto a venue that is available to everyone but viewed by no one (have I arrived there already?), Delay's lack of a job made me wonder how he planned to pay for the medical bills associated with his foot injuries. With the average cost for a one-night stay at the hospital running around $3,000-5,000, and upwards of $50,000 per week, I could imagine that a few trips to the doctor for Delay and maybe a procedure down the road to repair an arch could very easily result in a six-figure expense. For a man who is not working, such as Delay, health insurance would certainly help handle the expenses associated with the bill. If only the health care system had been reformed to provide coverage to all Americans regardless of age, sex, race, or intelligence level.
Some of you may recall a time in this country, not so long ago when an unknown lady from down South had the crazy idea of putting together a plan to improve health care in this nation. What was her name, oh yeah, Hillary Clinton. I wonder what she's up to now? That's right, the times were the 1990s, and they were good times. We were in the midst of the dot-com bubble, although then it was simply known as the initial phase of Skylab's bid to takeover the world, and an air of reform marked the day. Efforts for health care reform had been present throughout the Clinton administration, however 1994 marked the year in which it was most likely to succeed. At this point you might turn to the Ghost of Congresses Past and inquire into the relevancy of this history lesson. Waving a finger in front of your face as if to say, "Oh silly boy, how quickly we forget", the ghost turns his finger away and points it in the direction of a modest gentleman. At first the face seems familiar, muffin-top hair, rosy-red cheeks, and an infamously fake smile---could it be, yes that's right it's our rumba expert Tom Delay closing in on the peak of his career in Washington.
I would be stretching the truth to say that Tom Delay killed health care reform in 1994, but he was definitely not in support of it. According to the American Public Health Association, which rates members of Congress according to their stance regarding health reform and a public-option for coverage, Tom Delay has a 0 (zero) (http://www.ontheissues.org/TX/Tom_DeLay_Health_Care.htm). I am not trying to speak for Delay, but I think it is safe to say he is not a fan of death panels, although he is from Texas, so maybe he is, of course that may be an entirely different type of death panel altogether.
How different would the world be today if health care reform was implemented in the 1990s? I'm not sure, but my guess is a lot fewer people would be on Prozac, which means less people would see the world through a facade of chemically induced apathy, and George Bush would not have been elected to TWO TERMS IN OFFICE! Regardless of whatever drug-altered state we may or may not have been in, I think it is safe to say that some things would be different, and we can only hope that one of them would be that reality TV would never have become popular, or at least it would have been allowed to die after a couple of seasons of Real World. But no health care reform, and now we are stuck with more reality TV than we know what to do with. We have singing, surviving, living, and cooking, dating, mating, fighting, and eating, playing instruments, designing clothes, smizing, and dieting, racing, firing, flipping real estate, and building city-skyline cakes. But we cannot forget there is one more thing responsible for reality TV, and without further Delay....it is dancing.
Goin' Ralphing
For those not fortunate enough to live through the days of Wayne's World and the general awesomeness that was the 1990s, "ralphing" is a term affectionately used to refer to the act of vomiting. Used in a sentence it would sound something like, "I ate some bad tuna, and spent the entire night ralphing". Alas, I wish spoiled fish was responsible for my involuntary stomach release; instead, my porcelain prayer comes compliments of Sarah Palin and her soon to be released memoir Going Rouge. Spoiler alert: she ends up losing the election.
Somehow this woman, who until nine months ago was a complete unknown south of the 48th parallel, has filled up 400+ pages with her life, and its tendency to go rouge. Call me a non-believer, but I am having a hard time thinking of what a beauty queen, Joe-six pack, moose hunting, soccer mom from Wasilla could have possibly done that was so audacious that it garnered the use of the term "rouge" in its description. I guess there is more to sniping moose from a helicopter than I previously thought.
If Palin was truly interested in a rouge persona, I would like to see her autobiography read something very close to Mackenzie Phillips', High on Arrival. If somehow Palin could intertwine a bizarre, incestuous relationship with John McCain and a lofty drug-affair with Ted Stevens into the early stages of her political career, not only would I buy the book, I would gladly concede the term "rouge" to describe her. Unfortunately, I do not expect the book to take on such a lively characteristic, instead the most interesting part will probably be the process of buying the book.
My guess is that if people really wanted to learn something from reading a book they might put down the rouge and pick up the Pooh (Winnie the Pooh, that is). After 80 years, Christopher Robbin has returned to 100 Acres Woods, with a little more worldly knowledge and all the woodland creatures are happy to see him (and in the case of Eeyore, happy is a relative state). While traditionalists are arguing that the Pooh series should not be continued because of morals and lessons embedded in the last book (released in 1928), others are intrigued by its return to the shelves. I must say the choice of David Benedictus as the author is probably not the best move if trying to convince the general public that the original goals, values, and characters of the book will not be changed. With a name like Benedictus, why would anyone be worried that the original storyline might be betrayed?
Now that is one thing Palin has going for her...we know the characters, the actions, the stories, the values, the missions, the goals, and the lessons. There is no possibility that the original style and version of Palin will be lost or altered in the book. It is unlikely that a new character will emerge with novel ideas. No, rest assured Palin's book will stay true to her in all the ways we've come to know her, and it is for that reason that I can safely guarantee that after reading the book I am goin' ralphing.
Somehow this woman, who until nine months ago was a complete unknown south of the 48th parallel, has filled up 400+ pages with her life, and its tendency to go rouge. Call me a non-believer, but I am having a hard time thinking of what a beauty queen, Joe-six pack, moose hunting, soccer mom from Wasilla could have possibly done that was so audacious that it garnered the use of the term "rouge" in its description. I guess there is more to sniping moose from a helicopter than I previously thought.
If Palin was truly interested in a rouge persona, I would like to see her autobiography read something very close to Mackenzie Phillips', High on Arrival. If somehow Palin could intertwine a bizarre, incestuous relationship with John McCain and a lofty drug-affair with Ted Stevens into the early stages of her political career, not only would I buy the book, I would gladly concede the term "rouge" to describe her. Unfortunately, I do not expect the book to take on such a lively characteristic, instead the most interesting part will probably be the process of buying the book.
My guess is that if people really wanted to learn something from reading a book they might put down the rouge and pick up the Pooh (Winnie the Pooh, that is). After 80 years, Christopher Robbin has returned to 100 Acres Woods, with a little more worldly knowledge and all the woodland creatures are happy to see him (and in the case of Eeyore, happy is a relative state). While traditionalists are arguing that the Pooh series should not be continued because of morals and lessons embedded in the last book (released in 1928), others are intrigued by its return to the shelves. I must say the choice of David Benedictus as the author is probably not the best move if trying to convince the general public that the original goals, values, and characters of the book will not be changed. With a name like Benedictus, why would anyone be worried that the original storyline might be betrayed?
Now that is one thing Palin has going for her...we know the characters, the actions, the stories, the values, the missions, the goals, and the lessons. There is no possibility that the original style and version of Palin will be lost or altered in the book. It is unlikely that a new character will emerge with novel ideas. No, rest assured Palin's book will stay true to her in all the ways we've come to know her, and it is for that reason that I can safely guarantee that after reading the book I am goin' ralphing.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Jon Gosselin is a Tool
If Black and Decker ever decides to do a name-change, or some entrepreneur decides to enter into the business of tools they should consider the name "Jon Gosselin". Anyone who sees a circular-saw with the initials JG on the handle, and who has been alive for the past 6 months, will know they are purchasing one of the highest grade tools ever known to man. JG will symbolize toolness on a previously unknown level, and the buyer can rest-easy at night knowing that their tool will last longer than anyone thought imaginable, because that's what Jon has done.
Fifteen-minutes is up (it was up 5 years ago). In fairness, I have to confess (and I think most people would agree with me on this one), I felt sorry for Jon during the last few episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8; sitting on the couch next to Kate (I actually believe they had Satan playing the role of Kate for the last 2 episodes of the show---you'll have to check the final credits to be sure). But now, the truth has been revealed to us---Kate may have been a cold-hearted prune, but your love would shrivel up to if it was Jon who was supposed to keep you moist.
Yet, they all continue to make the news: Jon...and Kate...and...wasn't there someone else, oh yeah, "the plus eight" children, all of whom we can now assume will develop into healthy and happy teenagers and young adults. Do I smell an E! "Where Are They Now?" 2020 version? (of course this assumes the world is not going to end in 2012 as they Mayan and Nostradamus predicted---yes, that's right, the culture that Western Europe destroyed with a parade and Paul Moody have foretold the end of the world in Dec 2012, which means there should be some fantastic Christmas sales that year, the "liquidation of the world sale")
I simply want to know at what point society will say no to Jon and Kate, begin to pray for the "plus eight" and move on! The Duggars have tried hard to fill the void left by J&K, I think they are planning on popping out number 19 early next year. But, I guess America likes its families pathetically dysfunctional, and the Duggars may be just a little too normal and happy to be prime time material.
Oh well. I guess if Larry King is still talking with Jon then he must be news worthy, right? Let me answer that question with another question: who went on Larry's show and informed him and the world that she likes to spend her time naked (oh, and something about the world of modeling be racist)? Yes, Tyra and Jon have somehow made it on Larry's show in the past couple of weeks, and we still don't have health care reform. Way to get to the issues at the heart of every American Larry.
Jon go away. Media, when Jon goes away, do not follow him. Let him go to whatever nightclub, brothel, or bunny ranch he wishes to attend, and allow him to carve himself a new niche in society. One that does not involve me having to see his face on TV ever again. And, if ever there was an individual capable of carving themselves a new niche in society, it is Jon. After-all, he is such an amazing tool.
Fifteen-minutes is up (it was up 5 years ago). In fairness, I have to confess (and I think most people would agree with me on this one), I felt sorry for Jon during the last few episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8; sitting on the couch next to Kate (I actually believe they had Satan playing the role of Kate for the last 2 episodes of the show---you'll have to check the final credits to be sure). But now, the truth has been revealed to us---Kate may have been a cold-hearted prune, but your love would shrivel up to if it was Jon who was supposed to keep you moist.
Yet, they all continue to make the news: Jon...and Kate...and...wasn't there someone else, oh yeah, "the plus eight" children, all of whom we can now assume will develop into healthy and happy teenagers and young adults. Do I smell an E! "Where Are They Now?" 2020 version? (of course this assumes the world is not going to end in 2012 as they Mayan and Nostradamus predicted---yes, that's right, the culture that Western Europe destroyed with a parade and Paul Moody have foretold the end of the world in Dec 2012, which means there should be some fantastic Christmas sales that year, the "liquidation of the world sale")
I simply want to know at what point society will say no to Jon and Kate, begin to pray for the "plus eight" and move on! The Duggars have tried hard to fill the void left by J&K, I think they are planning on popping out number 19 early next year. But, I guess America likes its families pathetically dysfunctional, and the Duggars may be just a little too normal and happy to be prime time material.
Oh well. I guess if Larry King is still talking with Jon then he must be news worthy, right? Let me answer that question with another question: who went on Larry's show and informed him and the world that she likes to spend her time naked (oh, and something about the world of modeling be racist)? Yes, Tyra and Jon have somehow made it on Larry's show in the past couple of weeks, and we still don't have health care reform. Way to get to the issues at the heart of every American Larry.
Jon go away. Media, when Jon goes away, do not follow him. Let him go to whatever nightclub, brothel, or bunny ranch he wishes to attend, and allow him to carve himself a new niche in society. One that does not involve me having to see his face on TV ever again. And, if ever there was an individual capable of carving themselves a new niche in society, it is Jon. After-all, he is such an amazing tool.
Culture Goes Pop
What is wrong with society? How do we idolize idiots on a daily basis, but those with brain power are waived to the side. It's like high-school all over again! Reality TV, MTV, VH1, E!, and let's not forget our teeny-bopping pop culture on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. This blog is for anyone who turns on the TV and just needs to purge after about an hour of mind-numbing stupidity that offers nothing of culture or class, and yet somehow it stays on the tube, and we continue to watch it.
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