Delay-ed Exit

What do stress fractures and campaign finance reform laws have in common? They both saved us, albeit briefly, from Tom Delay. Indeed, to all those dancing aficionados out there, the "graceful" run of the former Texas congressman has come to a premature end on the television show Dancing with the Stars due to stress fractures in both his left feet. I must admit, I am surprised---I thought Delay only left under threats of federal indictment. I am pretty sure anyone who saw the video of Delay dancing with Cheryl Burke (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUqL3_uCD4Q) had thoughts of Candyland or Robert Preston swirling through their heads each time that peppermint stick swirled around. If there is one thing that deserves compliment it was his shirt; most men walk around with a monkey on their back, but Delay at 62 years old was carrying around an elephant (although these days, those two things may be synonymous).

In the midst of all the dancing and injurying, I could not help but wonder, "What is Tom Delay doing now?" (other than getting injured). Much to my surprise, this former strong-man in American politics is now Blogging and book writing about himself (surprise), and is a sometimes contributor to various news stations (I'm just guessing here, Fox News?). Although I cannot wait until the day I am able to waste away aimlessly typing my inner-most thoughts onto a venue that is available to everyone but viewed by no one (have I arrived there already?), Delay's lack of a job made me wonder how he planned to pay for the medical bills associated with his foot injuries. With the average cost for a one-night stay at the hospital running around $3,000-5,000, and upwards of $50,000 per week, I could imagine that a few trips to the doctor for Delay and maybe a procedure down the road to repair an arch could very easily result in a six-figure expense. For a man who is not working, such as Delay, health insurance would certainly help handle the expenses associated with the bill. If only the health care system had been reformed to provide coverage to all Americans regardless of age, sex, race, or intelligence level.

Enter stage-left Ghost of Congresses Past.

Some of you may recall a time in this country, not so long ago when an unknown lady from down South had the crazy idea of putting together a plan to improve health care in this nation. What was her name, oh yeah, Hillary Clinton. I wonder what she's up to now? That's right, the times were the 1990s, and they were good times. We were in the midst of the dot-com bubble, although then it was simply known as the initial phase of Skylab's bid to takeover the world, and an air of reform marked the day. Efforts for health care reform had been present throughout the Clinton administration, however 1994 marked the year in which it was most likely to succeed. At this point you might turn to the Ghost of Congresses Past and inquire into the relevancy of this history lesson. Waving a finger in front of your face as if to say, "Oh silly boy, how quickly we forget", the ghost turns his finger away and points it in the direction of a modest gentleman. At first the face seems familiar, muffin-top hair, rosy-red cheeks, and an infamously fake smile---could it be, yes that's right it's our rumba expert Tom Delay closing in on the peak of his career in Washington.

I would be stretching the truth to say that Tom Delay killed health care reform in 1994, but he was definitely not in support of it. According to the American Public Health Association, which rates members of Congress according to their stance regarding health reform and a public-option for coverage, Tom Delay has a 0 (zero) (http://www.ontheissues.org/TX/Tom_DeLay_Health_Care.htm). I am not trying to speak for Delay, but I think it is safe to say he is not a fan of death panels, although he is from Texas, so maybe he is, of course that may be an entirely different type of death panel altogether.

How different would the world be today if health care reform was implemented in the 1990s? I'm not sure, but my guess is a lot fewer people would be on Prozac, which means less people would see the world through a facade of chemically induced apathy, and George Bush would not have been elected to TWO TERMS IN OFFICE! Regardless of whatever drug-altered state we may or may not have been in, I think it is safe to say that some things would be different, and we can only hope that one of them would be that reality TV would never have become popular, or at least it would have been allowed to die after a couple of seasons of Real World. But no health care reform, and now we are stuck with more reality TV than we know what to do with. We have singing, surviving, living, and cooking, dating, mating, fighting, and eating, playing instruments, designing clothes, smizing, and dieting, racing, firing, flipping real estate, and building city-skyline cakes. But we cannot forget there is one more thing responsible for reality TV, and without further Delay....it is dancing.